


Perchance to Dream

by A Magiluna Stormwriter (ariestess)



Category: CSI: Crime Scene Investigation
Genre: Bechdel Test Pass, Community: smut_69, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-07-26
Updated: 2006-07-26
Packaged: 2017-11-06 07:07:23
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,893
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/416116
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ariestess/pseuds/A%20Magiluna%20Stormwriter
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dreams can  torment…and sometimes dreams can come true.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Perchance to Dream

**Author's Note:**

> Date: 11-19 July 2006  
> Word Count: 2900  
> Written for: [](http://smut-69.livejournal.com/profile)[**smut_69**](http://smut-69.livejournal.com/) [table of prompts](http://ariestess.livejournal.com/598992.html) #42, relationships  
>  Summary: Dreams can torment…and sometimes dreams can come true.  
> Spoilers: "Grave Danger, Parts 1 & 2"  
> Warnings: Girls getting it on with girls, yay!  
> Website: ShatterStorm Productions - Frisked & Conquered  
> Link to: <http://f-n-c.shatterstorm.net/>  
> Archive: ShatterStorm Productions only…all others ask for permission & we'll see…
> 
> Author's Disclaimer: "CSI: Crime Scene Investigators," the characters, and situations depicted are the property of Jerry Bruckheimer Television, Alliance Atlantis, and CBS Productions. This piece of fan fiction was created for entertainment not monetary purposes. Previously unrecognized characters and places, and this story, are copyrighted to the author. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author. This site is in no way affiliated with "CSI: Crime Scene Investigators," CBS, or any representatives of Jorja Fox or Louise Lombard.
> 
> Author's Notes: My muses go through streaks of angst. This happened to be one of them. And when they decide they want smut, they can be downright coy about letting me actually write it. Again, this was the case. But I think it worked out in the long run. And then it just happened to work, if you squint your eyes really tightly, for the relationships prompt for my [](http://smut-69.livejournal.com/profile)[**smut_69**](http://smut-69.livejournal.com/) table. Booya!
> 
> Dedication: My muses kick ass, and never truly let me down…
> 
> Beta: [](http://shatterpath.livejournal.com/profile)[**shatterpath**](http://shatterpath.livejournal.com/) , [](http://ctorres.livejournal.com/profile)[**ctorres**](http://ctorres.livejournal.com/) , [](http://4ensicbones.livejournal.com/profile)[**4ensicbones**](http://4ensicbones.livejournal.com/) , [](http://celievamp.livejournal.com/profile)[**celievamp**](http://celievamp.livejournal.com/)

  


> _Sara,_
> 
> _I know this isn't something I'd normally do, given the circumstances, but I need to do this while I still have the chance…and the courage._
> 
> _I know we've had our differences over…just about everything. But we also work so well together when we want to. To be honest with you, Sara, I like working with you. You're so dedicated to your work, to the victims. You put everything else on the back burner to catch the guilty parties._
> 
> _Such dedication. Such commitment. Such passion._
> 
> _Your personal life doesn't even exist in the face of some of your cases. There have been times I've wondered if you even have a place to live outside the lab. But I know you do. We all do, even if they're largely ignored except for sleep and storage. Nature of the job, right?_
> 
> _I love watching you work. Seeing that brilliant mind turn the pieces of evidence over and over in your mind, never stopping until you solve the puzzle. Debating over theories and motives until you're positive you've got it right…and have the evidence to prove it._
> 
> _The pure joy and satisfaction when you do solve a case make you look so damned beautiful, Sara. The sight of your face all lit up and animated makes my heart ache with the wish to make you feel that same way about me._
> 
> _There. I said it. Well, wrote it._
> 
> _Yes, Sara, I'm attracted to you._
> 
> _Yes, Sara, I'm a lesbian._
> 
> _Yes, Sara, I understand you may not return my attraction._
> 
> _I can handle that. Just don't pull away completely. Please? I feel like you're finally trusting me, accepting me._
> 
> _Then again, I may be wrong in that. Besides, things will change when I leave for Boulder City._
> 
> _Granted, Boulder City's not the other side of the country. We'll probably still see each other on cases occasionally. And it's not like I'm giving up my condo yet. I want to stay in Vegas._
> 
> _Yes, you're part of the reason I want to stay, and part of the reason I need to leave. Perhaps this enforced separation will temper my attraction. But I think it will only deepen with the distance and absence. But that means there's more than simply hormones involved, and without knowing how you feel, that's not necessarily a good thing._
> 
> _I guess in the long run, none of this matters, outside of getting it off my chest. It's not like you'll ever see this letter…or any others I'll end up writing. As much as I'd love for you to be as interested in me as I am in you, I don't want to risk the rejection if you don't. and so I'll leave things as they are and write more of these letters you'll never see when the attraction and need prove too much to bear._
> 
> _Wishing,  
>  Sofia_
> 
> \--*--*--*--
> 
> _Sara,_
> 
> _Last night I had the strongest, most immediately vivid dream of my life. When I woke up, I actually went tearing through my condo to find you. Barely covered my sweaty, naked body to dart past the previously locked front door to see if you were outside._
> 
> _When it finally sank in that you weren't there, and had never been there… It was like a sucker punch to the gut. A strange, intense combination of relief and disappointment that had me heaving up my guts._
> 
> _And then the tears started. God, I was so damned frustrated. With my dream. With myself. With you._
> 
> _Why the hell did this have to happen now? How am I supposed to face you at work when all I want is to get you alone somewhere so I can ravish you senseless and profess my feelings for you?_
> 
> _But I can't. I have to go in to work tonight, act like nothing's out of the ordinary. And at the end of my shift, I'll pack up my locker, turn in my credentials to Gil, and come back home to prepare for Boulder City._
> 
> _Gil knows I'm leaving. I had a long talk with him about this when I first got the notification, and I made him promise not to say anything to any of you. I must say I'm surprised Conrad hasn't said anything. It would be right up his alley…_
> 
> _Here's hoping tonight is slow enough to work cold cases. Or at least slow enough for me to seriously contemplate some personal time._
> 
> _Oh, Sara, I wish I could build up the courage to just give you all of these letters I've been writing, tell you how I feel, take you home with me. Make memories to sustain me during my tenure in Boulder City. If only I knew you felt the same way…_
> 
> _Do you know what I'd do if I knew you did?_
> 
> _I'd walk up to you in that locker room, get right into your personal space, and pin you to the nearest locker. My body would press against yours, molding and adjusting to your curves, and I know I'd groan at the sublime joy of finally feeling you so close to me. Clothes be damned. And I'd lean in, eyes trained on yours as my lips press against yours. I always imagine they're just the slightest bit rough, and my tongue will dart out to run across them. You'll gasp or moan, or try to say something then, and I'll just slip my tongue into your mouth. You won't struggle at all, but pull me closer with your hands in my hair, returning the kiss feverishly. I won't be able to get enough and will press even closer, hands pushing against the lockers to either side of your face for balance. I like to imagine you'll groan and nip at my lips before you quickly turn the tables and my ass is flat against the lockers. You'll grind your body against mine, and your lips will blaze a heated path down my neck._
> 
> _But nothing like that will happen…except in my fevered fantasies._
> 
> _Oh please God, let tonight be slow so I can just take the personal time, clear out my locker, and get the hell out of there. I don't know that I can handle being so close to you after that dream. My willpower is only so strong, and I think this is too much for me._
> 
> _I need you, Sara…_
> 
> _In agony,  
>  Sofia_

\--*--*--*--

The incessant, insistent knocking pulls me out of a deep sleep. I stumble to the door and fumble with the lock, growling, "This better be g--" The words die on my lips at the sight of my visitor. I can't move, can't speak. I certainly don't need to be seeing her right now, not with that damned dream still so fresh in my mind. Hell, am I still dreaming?

She stands there for a moment, just staring back at me, emotions darkening her eyes. And then, she springs into action: one hand rises up to shove me back into the room none to gently. I stumble backward, and she follows me into the room. The door is firmly shut and locked before she grabs me and slams me against it. I start to protest, startled by her aggression, but her lips quickly cover mine and her tongue slides sensuously along mine, turning my protest into a deep groan of need. My fingers tangle in her hair, pulling her closer, desire matching hers. My god, but this is better than I fantasized it would be. Please tell me I'm not still dreaming! I don’t think I could handle that right now.

She deepens the kiss, nipping roughly at my lower lip, and grinds her hips against mine. Her hands rest on the door to either side of my head as she begins nibbling a trail down my throat. I arch my neck toward her possessive mouth, banging my head against the door in the effort. She shifts slightly, one leg insinuating itself between mine, thigh pressing tightly against skin covered only by a loose silk robe. Oh dear God, if this is a dream, I’m going to scream myself hoarse. She latches onto my collarbone, teeth pressing hard enough to nearly break the skin. I whimper at the sensations and taste the metallic tang of blood from biting my own lower lip.

And then the sensations are gone. My body feels cold after the fiery heat of her body next to mine. My heart is pounding in my chest, pulse roaring in my ears. I can hear myself gasping for breath, but can't open my eyes for fear of discovering this has been just another vividly realistic dream. Tears burn under my eyelids and I realize I can't keep doing this. Something needs to change with this damned obsession I've got over Sara. I can't live like this.

"Sofia."

The word strokes across my body like icy hot flames, and I feel my arousal ratcheting higher. It sounds like Sara. Dear God, it sounds like Sara. She smells like Sara. She feels like I imagine Sara would feel like. Please, please don't let me be dreaming.

"Sofia," she murmurs again, leaning in close enough that I can smell the faint whiff of garlic on her breath. "Are you going to just stand there? Or are you going to look at me?" I whimper at her words, still unable to say anything for fear of ruining this fucking dream. "I'm not going anywhere, Sofia. Not until you talk to me."

I nod slowly, forcing my breathing to even out, willing my desire to go away. I won't wake up horny and distraught again. I can't continue to do this. It's going to kill me. My fingers grasp the doorknob and I realize it's locked. This just grips my heart and brings the tears back to the surface. Fuck! Not again!

"No, Sofia," she says softly, stroking my cheek. "Not again. You had a dream where I disappeared. I won't disappear this time, not unless you tell me to."

I tentatively open my eyes to see her concerned, flushed face in front of me. With a shaky hand, I grip her forearm and lean into her touch. "You're really here?" I murmur. When she nods, I let out a sob that I can't determine is relief or sorrow, and I feel my legs give out as I slide down to the floor. My head drops into my hands, and I don't fight it when she strokes my hair.

"I'm really here," she replies and shifts to sit next to me. I can't breathe suddenly, and let her shove my head between my knees. "Easy, Sofia, just relax. Slow, deep breaths, honey. That's it."

I struggle to do as she asks, heaving a deep sigh when I can finally calm down. "What the fuck is wrong with me?" I mutter derisively, roughly brushing away my tears. "And how did you know about my dream?"

"All in good time, honey," Sara murmurs, stroking my cheek again. After a moment, she gets up and pulls me up with her. I give in to the indulgence and lean against her, head on her shoulder, and inhale the scent of Sara Sidle. Her hands continue to stroke my hair and back, and I press against her again.

After several moments of silence, I pull back to look at her. "How did you know about my dream?"

She smiles and chuckles, pulling an envelope from her back pocket. "This was taped to my locker when I got back at the end of my shift." I pale as I recognize my handwriting on the envelope, barely registering her curious tone. "Why did you leave this for me? Why didn't you just tell me?"

"I didn't leave it for you," I stammer. "It must have fallen out of my bag." I try to pull away, but Sara tightens her grip on me. "Let me go, Sara. Please."

At my request, Sara takes a step back, but doesn't take her eyes off me. "I'm not upset with you, Sofia. If I was, do you think I'd have kissed you like that? I just wish you'd let me know sooner, you know? So we could have been dating by now, instead of just starting to get to know each other before you leave for a new job. A job you didn't tell me about. Do you know how much that hurt when Grissom told us tonight?"

"I'm sorry," I whisper. "I…I have no excuses. I didn't want to ruin the relationship we'd created. I didn't know if you felt like I do, didn't want… Oh fuck it! If you've read those letters enough to know about my dream, then you know my reasons for not saying anything."

I close my eyes again, resisting the urge to run and hide. I can feel her eyes on me, studying me for a long moment. Her hands on my chest startle me, and I can't hide the flinch. Staring at her, I notice she's pulling the sides of my robe closed with a sheepish grin.

"Unless you want me ravishing you senseless right now, you need to cover up."

She tugs me toward the couch, pulling me down practically into her lap. Still in a bit of shock over all of this, I let myself curl against her lean body, head once again on her shoulder. "Sara, I…"

"No, Sofia, it's my turn," she murmurs, fingers pressing against my lips. "I don't honestly care how I got these letters. All that matters is that I did. And yes, I read every single one of them. Twice, in some instances. You have quite the imagination, Sofia," she chuckles, and I feel my face flushing hotly. "But you know what I realized in reading all of those letters of yours? I realized that it doesn't really matter why we didn't get together sooner. Shit happens, you know? What matters is where we go from here." She smiles gently and strokes my face again. "I know what I want, knew it from the minute I finished reading these letters of yours. The question now is: What do you want, Sofia?"

\--*--*--*--

**two months later**

I jerk awake, heart pounding, Sara's name frantically on my lips. I struggle against the sheets tangled around my lower half, feeling that frenzied need to go after her. Especially when I feel the cold sheets on her side of the bed. I scramble out of bed, throwing my robe on, and head toward the front door. Barely out of the bedroom, I run directly into…

"Sofia, baby, what's wrong?"

"Have to go, have to find…" And her voice finally sinks in. "You. Fuck!" I rake my hands through my hair, shaking at the adrenalin surge.

"Are you still having that nightmare?" Sara asks softly, guiding me back into the bedroom. She slips off my robe and undresses herself. "Baby, I told you I'm not going anywhere two months ago. And I kept my promise, didn't I?"

I nod slowly, feeling utterly foolish over this damned recurring nightmare. "I know," I reply, curling up next to her as she gets into bed. "I keep having this damned nightmare every night you're not sleeping with me." And then it hits me. "Wait a minute. You're not supposed to be here today."

She grins broadly, showing that delightful gap in her teeth. "I took a personal day so we can have a full weekend together. I knew you had this weekend off, and I was sick of the fact that we basically haven't seen each other for like two weeks. And I missed you."

Without thought, I grin like a little girl getting a pony on her birthday, and wrap my arms around her for a grateful kiss. "You missed me? You've been busy as hell the past couple of weeks. When on earth did you have time to miss me?" I ask, hands happily wandering over her body, just to reacquaint myself with my lover.

"Any time I can't easily see or touch you, I miss you," she admits almost shyly, then snorts. "Who'd have thought I'd be so damned sentimental, hunh?"

"I happen to think it's sweet," I reply, nuzzling at her throat.

"Sweet?" Sara asks, tickling me. "You think it's sweet? I'll show you sweet!" And with that, she flips me over onto my back, straddling my waist, and brands me with a searing kiss.

I struggle gamely from the tickling, and arch up against her when she kisses me. My fingers find their way into her dark hair, holding her closer. Her hands move purposefully up and down my body, teasing and tormenting me as only she can. The slightest brush of fingertips across the sides of my breasts brings a whimper from my lips. She takes her own sweet time, stroking and teasing my body from head to toe with fingertips, palms, nails. And when she's done, Sara starts it all over again with lips, tongue, and teeth.

And yet, in her thoroughness, she keeps evading my pussy. Which only increases my arousal to inhuman proportions. And Sara damned well knows it, too. She's tormenting me purposely, knowing I'll scream like a banshee when she finally lets me come.

And I wouldn't have it any other way.


End file.
